Identifying Spiritual Abuse

     Spiritual abuse is a big deal. It is unfortunately common, potentially devastating, and often unnoticed. At best, it is a source of pain and alienation for many, religious or otherwise. Left unchecked, it can become the foundation of a manipulative and controlling organization that can sprout into a full-fledged cult. It is also an issue that, in my estimation, is only becoming more prevalent. This is an issue that is close to my heart because not only do I have a passion for ensuring that other people are not hurt in this way, as a pastor I also have a hefty obligation to make sure that I do not end up falling into it myself.

     But what is it?

     Defining spiritual abuse has always been a bit tricky because it's a bit of a nebulous concept. Fundamentally, I would term it as the use of spiritual or religious authority, real or otherwise, to intentionally or unintentionally coerce or manipulate others into obedience. While this does not include physical or sexual abuse, which are separate (albeit usually more important) issues, it is often used to defend these acts, or to deflect the fallout from them. It is also often used by an individual or group to consolidate power, to repress threatening elements, or to reform an entity in their image. Sometimes it is the product of good intentions - a pastor who is convinced that their vision for the church is what will best serve and help others and so will stop at nothing to implement it, or a teacher who is genuinely frightened that a particular doctrine or concept will corrupt people's minds and lead to evil - but the results are almost always the same: Hurt, brokenness, alienation, suffering, indoctrination, and more.

     So how do we spot it? Well, here are a few warning signs that a ministry may be spiritually abusive. If the ministry you're a part of meets even one of the below criteria, you may want to seriously consider leaving (Please note that the following is mostly a summary of what has been written by other, better thinkers, which I am presenting in the hopes of providing something that can be read and understood in fifteen minutes).

     1. The ministry is insular.

     Any organization or group is, by definition, exclusive. A group that includes absolutely everyone is just called "the human race." Additionally, any organization or group is going to feel that the values they have rallied around are the truth, even if that value is that we need to rethink what truth is. So, in moderation, exclusivity in and of itself is not bad - in fact, without it, we wouldn't be able to function as a society. Insularity goes a bit beyond being exclusive, though. A ministry that is insular doesn't just believe that what they teach is the truth, they believe that what they teach is the truth by definition because they are the ones teaching it. An insular ministry does its very best to silence outside voices and to ensure that its leaders are the only ones who can hold influence over its members. If you can look around your church and say that they are regularly trying to prevent or discourage you from learning about perspectives that they disagree with, you might be in a spiritually abusive ministry (if your church is encouraging you to sever contact with anyone who is not a part of that church, then you are definitely in a spiritually abusive ministry and need to get out immediately).

     2. The ministry does not tolerate questions.

     I always think it's sad and a little funny when Christians complain about how angry some atheists are. Some Christians will even go so far as to say that this is evidence that God exists, because if there is no God, then what are atheists angry at? Well, potentially a variety of things, but often the answer is because they grew up in a church where they were demonized and ostracized just for voicing the questions that were on their mind. A fear of or disdain for questions is another characteristic of an abusive ministry. Abusive ministries will often see questions as an attack on their authority, and therefore the person asking the question as rebellious. This can apply both to the beliefs and practices of the church - whether you are expressing skepticism over a particular doctrine or pointing out potential flaws or pitfalls in the church vision, abusive leadership will see them both as threats. If you can look around your church and see people being rebuked, reprimanded, or ostracized for asking questions, if you are being told that the pastor or leadership speaks on behalf of God, and/or if you are being expected to submit to them absolutely, you might be in a spiritually abusive ministry.

     (It's worth noting that there's some give and take, here. There's a difference between a leader being upset over you questioning them, and a leader being upset over you questioning them in a way that is malicious, obnoxious, or contextually inappropriate. Use common sense. If your pastor doesn't mind having their theology challenged but is upset that you interrupted someone else's wedding to do so, you might not be in a spiritually abusive ministry. Also, you might be a jerk).

     3. The ministry uses shame and fear as tools.

     If you've ever wondered why people would stay in spiritually abusive churches, this is often the reason. People are told that if they do not go along with what the leadership teaches or asks, they are holding the church back, or they are bad Christians, or they aren't Christians at all. People are told that if they leave the church, they are walking away from the truth, they will be led astray by the lies of other churches, they are turning their back on God and He will punish them for it. The ministry is made out to be unconditionally in line with God, and to oppose it is to oppose Him and invite His wrath. Of course, this can take on far more subtle tones, too. Consider the statement "If you have sex before marriage, you will forever be tarnishing your relationship with your spouse and with God." This is a problem, not only due to theological considerations, but also because rather than presenting a cogent argument on why sex should be saved for marriage, it simply attempts to use fear to manipulate people into agreeing. If the leadership does not tell you why they disagree with your words or actions but instead threaten you with the wrath of God or promises of dire consequences to come, if they label people or perspectives they dislike as Satanic or demonic, or if they equate your dedication to them (or lack thereof) with your dedication to God, you might be in a spiritually abusive ministry.

     4. The ministry depends on one person.

     This one may not always be a sign of spiritual abuse, but it should always be a massive red flag. At the very least, it creates the ideal atmosphere for spiritual abuse to emerge. This is also something that is becoming increasingly problematic as the internet means that big personalities become even larger, and people who used to preach to thousands are now preaching to millions across the globe. While there is nothing wrong with having a leader who is famous or simply charismatic, massive problems creep in when the ministry becomes built around them. The ministry will, intentionally or unintentionally, begin linking everything in with this leader until eventually virtually everything revolves around them. All of a sudden this leader has accumulated a massive amount of power, giving them a near-dictatorial reign over the church. Not helping the matter is the fact that, as stated above in #2, people who question this leader will be slowly (or not-so-slowly) phased out of the leadership in order to accommodate the new rising star. I am reminded of one famous pastor who, when confronted because of his corrupt financial practices, told his elders that they could not get rid of him because he was the reason why the church was so successful in the first place, and that if he left, the church would collapse around them and they'd have nothing anyway. If your church hinges around one person (and that one person isn't Christ, because I know someone out there would think "What if it's Jesus?" is a clever response), you might be in a personality cult - and those are hotbeds of spiritual abuse.

     Again, something that I cannot stress enough is that it is entirely possible that spiritual abuse is carried out with benevolent intentions. Someone might use scare tactics to control you because they are genuinely frightened and they don't want to see those fears come to fruition. Someone might honestly believe that what they believe is the truth and nothing but, and as a result questioning them is undermining the truth, and therefore misleading other people. A church might be insular simply because it isn't aware of other perspectives. But the fact of the matter is, abuse is abuse, and the motivation behind it doesn't change that for a second.

     It is my hope that these guidelines (which, as mentioned, are really just summaries of principles articulated by others) will help people to avoid and counteract spiritually abusive ministries, and will help church leaders purge their own practices of these habits.

     One final question: If you find yourself in a spiritually abusive ministry, should you get out of there, or should you stay and try to improve things? I wish there was an easy answer for this one. Unfortunately, that's a decision only you can make. It's going to depend on to what extent the church is abusive (e.g. getting upset at you for questioning the church vision vs. calling you a tool of Satan and removing you from leadership for questioning the church vision), as well as to what extent you personally are affected by the abuse.

Why the Words "Slippery Slope" Should Never Leave Your Mouth Again

When, way back in 2013, the American federal government legalized gay marriage, I breathed a silent prayer that this might end all the crazy talk about slippery slopes. Unfortunately, it didn't - and shame on me for not knowing better. The only change is that instead of people talking about all the assorted debauchery gay marriage could inevitably lead to, they've begun talking about all the assorted debauchery gay marriage will inevitably lead to.

This is terrible argumentation. There is absolutely no reason to ever appeal to the slippery slope. It is unconvincing, ineffective, and to be frank, more than a little dishonest. The slippery slope isn't just the province of crusty old conservatives, however (though they do seem to be trying their best to stake the strongest claim on it). You might hear someone complaining about how if the government censors certain content, it's a done deal that they will begin censoring everything else until we're in a Ray Bradbury novel, or that if we allow a certain voice prominence, it is a done deal that they will end up running our society. It is, unfortunately, a concept that rears its hideous, tortured head in all walks of life, regardless of politics, religion, nationality, or (most unfortunately) education.

So what is it?

The "slippery slope" is primarily the idea of trying to take two distinct concepts and present them as being inextricably linked. If one happens, then it is inevitable that the other will happen as well, it's only a matter of time. If we tolerate homosexuality, then it is inevitable that we will one day tolerate pedophilia. If you accept Marxism, then it is only a matter of time until you embrace Leninism. If we allow religious displays in our government buildings, it is a foregone conclusion that we will become a theocratic state. The general idea is that taking even one step down the slope will lead to you losing your footing and sliding down all the way to the bottom without any way to get back up, regardless of your intentions.

So why is it bad?

1. It is fortune-telling.

One of the biggest issues with the slippery slope is that it is impossible to prove. It is one hundred percent conjecture. You are not presenting a logical or coherent argument, you are predicting the future. The slippery slope is rarely presented alongside evidence, and even when it is, it is nearly impossible for that evidence to be conclusive. In other words, the slippery slope argument rarely amounts to anything more than a gut feeling. Even if the prediction ends up being true, it is still an entirely unhelpful argument because, again, you cannot satisfactorily establish causality.

2. It is a false dichotomy.

The slippery slope is what we call a "continuum fallacy." The idea here is that you're taking two concepts and saying that it's either one or the other, and ignoring the possibility that there could be some middle ground. To take the examples above, the slippery slope states that it is impossible for someone to accept homosexuality but reject pedophilia or to accept Marxism but reject Leninism. More nuanced forms of the slippery slope (and I use the term "nuanced" liberally) might suggest that it is possible, but logically inconsistent. This is simply false. I haven't got the space to go into why here, but suffice it to say that most issues are not all-or-nothing. It is, in actual fact, quite possible to go partway down the slope, put your foot down, and stay there without going any further. Ideas aren't a package deal. Everything can and must be evaluated independently, on its own merits.

3. It is fear-mongering.

Plain and simple. The slippery slope is not an appeal to logic. It is not an appeal to reason. It is an appeal to emotion. It says: "X is bad, and you don't want X to happen, do you? Well then you can't support Y, because Y will lead to X!" Rational creatures would look at that and say "Well, how do you know that Y will lead to X?" but no matter what we like to think of ourselves, we as humans are not purely rational creatures and so we might initially react with "What? X? Hang on, I don't want X to happen! Well we'd better stop Y, then!" Practice with critical thinking can help mitigate this, but I don't believe that anyone is ever truly free of it. If you want to rile up a crowd or get some strong reactions, the slippery slope is a great tool. But if you want to communicate in a way that is thought-provoking, logical, and charitable - avoid at all costs.

4. It is historically ignorant.

Very few issues are recent, and even if they've taken on a new shape or focus in the past few decades, it is likely that the topic has been raised at some point in the past in one form or another. This means that in almost any given topic, if the slippery slope does exist, we're likely already on it. If we're already on the slope, then this means that either we are already sliding inexorably towards the bottom, in which case there's nothing we can do about it, or it's possible for us to stop partway down and start to go back up, in which case the slippery slope becomes self-refuting because it's not actually slippery at all. Either way, declaring something to be a slippery slope seems to be a pointless endeavour.

A Note About Logical Fallacies.

Perhaps the single most important thing to remember about logical fallacies is that just because an argument is fallacious doesn't necessarily mean it's wrong. Cause and effect (probably) exists, and concepts and events do lead in to one another. It is, for example, entirely possible that someone will begin reading Marx and as a direct result of reading Marx will begin to read Lenin and embrace Lenin's ideology. Another example is that it is a ridiculous argument to say "It is a slippery slope from political assassination in the Balkans to Germans and British using flesh-eating gas on one another" and yet the former event definitively led to the latter happening. See, the point of this post isn't to say that everything is separate and nothing is linked, but rather to say that just because a link can be drawn between two things doesn't mean that it should, and to provide a reminder that ideas must be evaluated on their own merits.

Also, logical fallacies exist to help us sharpen our logical skills, clarify our thoughts, identify pitfalls, and communicate effectively. A pet peeve of mine is when logical fallacies are reduced to mere points in a verbal fencing match. Pointing out a logical fallacy someone has committed is rarely the same as refuting their point. If your primary concern is to point out the logical flaws in the arguments of others, rather than to listen to and consider what they have to say, then you have missed the entire purpose of arguing in the first place. Pointing out tangential fallacies (that is to say, fallacies that are made in passing or that are irrelevant to the argument the person is trying to make) is almost always bad form and usually only serves to make you seem extraordinarily petty.

A Note to Christians.

I confess that I've got a particular agenda in writing this post, and it's got nothing to do with gay marriage or Marxism or whichever other examples I happened to use above. This is actually a part of a loosely-connected series of posts I'm doing to address what I believe to be one of the biggest problems in evangelical Christianity today: Gatekeeping. Evangelical gatekeepers attempt to keep their flocks "pure" by ensuring that only certain ideas and teachings are allowed in or out. Personally I find this sort of heavy regulation to be incredibly detrimental to honest pursuit of God and faith, but that's a conversation for another time. The slippery slope is, in my experience, a favourite tactic of gatekeepers when they cannot (generally due to political reasons) dismiss something outright as heresy. A person, book, sermon, concept, or organization that they dislike might be described as not necessarily wrong, but something that places people on the path to things that are wrong. The problem with this, of course, is threefold: First, the understanding of "wrong" or "bad" theology hinges upon the gatekeeper's definition - hardly an authoritative source; second, it makes the untenable assumption that accepting one will lead to accepting the other; third, it is an attempt to use fear to ensure that their beliefs are upheld. Examples of this might be New Calvinist organizations today who link gender roles with the Gospel and say that egalitarian gender roles are the first step on a slippery slope to undermining the core of the Christian faith, or groups within the Southern Baptists who feel that embracing Calvinism will inevitably lead to apathy in missions. Perhaps the most well-known example is groups like Answers in Genesis, who assert that denying a literal six-day creation necessarily leads to denying all of Christianity.

So if you are a Christian, and especially if you are a Christian leader, my plea to you today is this: If you disagree with a doctrine or teaching, then do so on its own basis. Please do not base your arguments on where the doctrine could potentially lead. That is intellectually dishonest, it is fear-mongering, and it is categorically harmful to honest discussion. Guys. I'm not saying you have to agree with or tolerate every opinion out there. I'm not even saying you need to be respectful of everyone - I mean, it'd be nice, but I know how hard that can be. All I'm saying is, please, enough with the drama. Hearing about how every little doctrinal difference is getting blown out of proportion to be an attack on the Gospel is exhausting. Enough is enough.